As the night came and as I lay down on my bed, I remember the things I had in the past and the people I spend time with. People who taught me lots of lessons and experiences. A specific person who taught me to endure things, to believe in my capabilities, to smile, to be hurt, to accept things, to stand up and to move on. How I wish I can turn back the hands of the clock, to thank that specific person.

Indeed, he taught me lots of lessons to ponder. He was the first person who taught me the meaning of young love. He gave me butterfly in my stomach every time we talked. He gives me inspiration and he is my motivation. He help me with my studies, he makes me smile and make me burst into laughter. He is also the first  person who makes me cry. His my first love and my first heartache.

        

  I used to think back then that what we had would last forever. But change is constant. Things didn't went well for the both of us. Tears fell, pain felt and hurt last long. I was broken. But as I said, change is constant. It didn't stayed like that. I stood up, walked away and moved on.  

          

  Four years passed, a lot of things change. Sometimes as I remember the past, I miss it. I don’t know why or how, I just felt it like that. But I am grateful of everything that happened. It made me who I am today.

            

Then, while looking back I realize everything has its own reason of existence. His existence in my life has a reason. A reason that now, I'm still in the process of analyzing a reason that I still think every time I'm alone. For me, it's hard to understand this things. They are indeed confusing. I even sometimes wonder why I can't figure out this things. Then surprisingly, another question slaps in my mind:

           

 Four years have gone, did I really already move on from that first love?