Linggo, Marso 30, 2014

Untitled

Dear Readers,
          Let me tell you a story_my story. So where should I start? hmm. I guess let me introduce myself first. I am Renz and this story begins when one day I bumped a young lady. She was crying. I am sure of that, she bow her head and apologize. I was shocked. What should I do? Then I just gave her my handkerchief. Its the least I can do to lighten her burden. I guess she's having a big problem. I just smile at her and walked away. That girl, shes..shes pretty. I bet when she smile she is prettier. I hope she'll be fine.
         I transferred to a new school in the middle of the semester. I just feel like I need time to be alone. To be independent, to see the real world. Away from my parents who disgust me as their son, away from the people who don't understand me. And life has really its own surprises because I never expect I will meet the person who will change my view in life. Someone who will make me realize the beauty of life.
         She's been my seatmate since I transferred to this new school. She is Michelle. And she was the same girl who was crying and accidentally bumped me. Michelle is pretty. She's kind, gentle, she's simple. I can get along with her and it's her who I first told the story of my life. She's different from others, she listens to me, she understands me, she never judge me from my mistakes, she always believes in me and maybe those are just few of the reasons why I liked her and i'm too coward to tell her that and honestly I hate myself for being too coward. I regret not telling her.
         She had a Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease. Before Michelle went to the States she leaves me a letter and after reading the letter I couldn't stop myself from crying. All this time we had spent together, she also feel the same way. And if I weren't that coward, we would've been more happy together. In my mind I was always praying "God please. Don't take that girl I love.Please, she's the only person who taught me how to appreciate life and she's the girl who taught me how to pray and believes in you. Michelle is the only person I love and I will always love her. Please don't take her away."
         I followed her in States. My heart can't bear it. I want to fight with her. I don't want her to fight this battle alone. I want to take all my chances. I want to make more happy memories with Michelle. This time I wont be a coward. We have hopes that we can get through this. But the battle wasn't that easy. The roads are  rocky.Hereditary Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease has no cure. Days passed, weeks went on, months went by, Michelle and I never give up. We fight. Michelle could not walk but I became his feet, she can hardly write, speak and eat. And every time I see her having a hard time I couldn't help myself but cry. I wish it was me. Why do she needs to suffer this much? She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve all of this.
       Then one day Michelle saw me bewail. At that time her ability to speak was gone. I was near her, she was lying in the hospital bed. I couldn't hold it anyone. I cried and cried. I was like a little kid who lost his favorite toy. I was angry why it has to be this way. I don't want to see the girl I love suffer like this. Then suddenly Michelle try her best effort to touch my face and she smiles at me. A smile so pure like everything was okay.
       Before the time Michelle's ability to write was gone she use to write everyday especially in her free time and she would not even let me read all her write ups. Michelle taught me lots of things. Things like acceptance, forgiving, believing above, having faith and hope and importantly she taught me how to love wholeheartedly. Michelle live a humbly life, she never regret every decision she made that leads to me. She learns to accept things and how they are.She love me and I love her back.
     I love her and I will always will. She is always in my heart. I love you Michelle. Eternity and beyond. I love you.
                                                               Truly yours,
                                                                    Renz

Sabado, Marso 29, 2014

Letter

Dear Readers,
                  Let me share my once upon a time with you. It started from a simple smile. Back then he is absolutely a complete stranger to me. I don't know him but things change when one day I ran away crying but that day became an important day of my life. On that day I ran crying never mind the people around me. On that moment all I want was to disappear. When my vision got blurred because of my tears, someone bumped me. After a moment, I bow my head and apologize. I don't want anybody see me cry, as I was about to walk away the guy offer me handkerchief. To my surprise I look up to that guy, then in no where he simply smile at me_a weak smile and he give me the hanky and walk away.
                Days after, as I was sitting in our class and looking at the window, our adviser introduce a new student. I didn't listen to what they are saying then someone just sat beside me. And to my surprise the new kid was the same guy who gave me a hanky!
               His name was Renz. He even remember that day when he first saw me. We became friends_close friends. Small world isn't it? And honestly after few months we spent together, I had this weird feeling for him. I haven't feel this way. And I like what I feel for him. I..I just don't have the courage to tell him personally.
             So this is the reason why I wrote a letter to you Renz. To tell you that I'm really happy that I meet a person like you. You're someone who can cheer me up and make me smile. I like you Renz and I'm sorry I can't tell you this personally. By the time you read this letter, I'm already in the States. I'm sorry if I didn't tell you. I really just don't want to say goodbye.
        That day when you saw me crying, the doctor told me that I have a spinocerebellar degeneration disease_a disease where the cerebellum of the brain gradually deteriorates and later on I cannot walk, speak, write, or eat. I often wonder why this disease choose me. Am I that bad? I don't have the reason to fight this. What is the point of living for me? Do I still have a future? Those questions always stay at my mind. Life is so unfair. But also on that same day I found that reason to fight. I was wrong. Life is not that unfair because I have found you. I now have the reason to fight and I will hold onto that reason. I actually don't know what you feel for me or what will you're reaction be after reading this but one thing i'm sure of my heart choose you. And I'm grateful for everything. I'm happy with our friendship. Thank you Renz.. Thank you for giving me a reason to fight this. Maybe later on I can't speak to you about everything but let me tell you this I will always treasure in my heart every moments I have with you. Maybe we might not see each other again but I hope I can still see you in the future..I hope I can love you in the future.. I hope fate give me a chance to love you. Please don't feel burden about this. That day when we first meet and you smile at me, that smile, I will always remember that in my heart and cherish it.
                                         Truly yours,
                                            Michelle.

      

Sabado, Marso 22, 2014

Third Year Life With You

       My Third Year Life is about to end. This school year has been an exciting one. Like the previous years, it gives me surprises and precious moments that worth a keep. But this year was more exciting and fascinating than the other years in my high school life.
      This year gave me experiences that I had been hurt, cried, expect but in the end it molds me to become an undaunted person. Those experiences really help me alot to be more fierce in my decision, to be more matured that I can be in decision making. Not just that, but this year offers me experiences that I never expect nor foresee that would come. Moments that I will always keep and treasure. Those stolen moments I had with a person that once been a stranger to my world but becomes a special person that inspired me today.
     I often wonder how a stranger can change yourself to become a better person. I don't still have the answer for that question but one thing i'm sure of, having that kind of feeling and experience is a priceless one.
     Things that are not planned are sometimes the things that are the best. Those moments when that person unexpectedly smile to you, talk to you, ask you what's wrong and make you smile when you're actually crying. Those small things and gestures can really means alot.
     Those 10 months I spend in school are really exciting and everyday is a day that I always look forward to. Yes, school is tiring, nerve-wrecking and you feel agast when there's a pop quiz or examination is fast approaching.Yet in school it is where you can  bond with friends, share experiences and see yourself maturing and learn things. Not just academe but some instances in life.
    While writing this, smile draws into my face remembering all those stuff that happened to me this school year. All those stuff really improve who I am. "No matter how great your day is, it always has to end." A quote I have in mind while writing this. I guess the end of this school year is near. And I guess I should be thankful for everyone who take part in this chapter of my life. I hate saying goodbyes but I guess we can't avoid saying this words but for me I won't say it, well, let me just say See you soon people. I, We, my batch mates will be called "Seniors", I hope next school year will be good to us. Here's to all memoirs I had this year!