Fate. PART 2.

One big shot? Fate? Tell him? Move forward? Erk . Those questions always stays  on my mind. Sam is right. Maybe fate plan all of this, maybe it’s the only chance I can tell him. Then what happen if I tell him? Will he get angry? Annoyed? Or maybe.. just maybe he might feel something for me too. Geeze that would be to impossible. But a few months from now, he’ll go to college and I might not have chance to tell him. Just 4 months to be exact. It’s the only time I can see him in this school. “Jess, are you okay? These past few days you look like so serious and passive. Any problem?” Asked by Mika. “Yes Jess, It’s seems like you’re always quiet and thinking. Are you okay?” Grace said. “I’m okay guys, I’m just thinking about something. Thanks for the concern.” I said with a weak smile. “Hmmm guys, I’ll go first. I just want to rest.” I added. “Okay Jess. Take care okay?” Sam said “I will. I’ll go now.” As I walk home alone I hope the rain won’t pour. I forgot my umbrella. Then heaven is really not on my side. The rain pour but still I continue to walk appreciating the beauty of the place and the wonder of the rain but I’m surprise an umbrella is protecting me from the rain and “You might get sick.” Said by a familiar voice. “Oh hey! Troy! You scared me.” I said. I’m quite flattered. My heart beats fast. “Haha. Sorry about that.” He replied. “What are you doing here? In the rain.” He asked. “oh, I was on my way home, then the rain start to pour and unluckily I forgot my umbrella.” I answered. “You? Where are you going?” I added. “I’m from my grandma’s house. I visited her.” he answered smiling. “ Haha. It seem like your grandma is lucky to have a grandson like you.” I said while laughing. ”haha. I guess.” He replied. “Anyways thanks Troy.” I said. “For what?” he asked. “For saving me in the rain.” I answer. “haha. No biggie. You look like in a deep thought earlier. Any problem?” he asked. “Not really. I think I can handle this.” I answered. “Hmm okay.” He said. “Hey Troy, have you already confess to someone?” Those words just come out in my mouth without thinking. Even I was surprised. I was nervous. What might he answer? Are my actions to obvious? Can he already figure it out? My mind is in chaos! Then he just smiles. Geeze his smile can melt. Then I broke the silence. “Hey thanks for the walk. I guess I’ll just wait the bus here.” I said smiling. “No problem. Okay, have a safe trip then.” Troy said smiling. “Hey the bus is here already.” He added. “Yeah. Haha. Lucky me. So bye then.” I said. “haha. I’ll watch you go.. To be sure you’ll be okay.” Troy said smiling. “No need.” I protested. “I insist.” He replied smiling. How can I refuse that offer if a cool, handsome guy asked for it? Kyaaah! I’m having a moment. He’s so sweet. Then I ride the bus waving and saying goodbye to Troy. My day end well. I’m so happy for the surprise that this day give me. Then I realize, telling him what I feel for him wouldn't be a crime right? I guess it’s not bad. If the outcome is not good then at least I wouldn't regret it in the future. Atleast I tried.

“Really? You’re going to tell him?! Yaay! I’m excited.” Sam said screaming on the phone. “haha. Calm down Sam.  I’m just going to onfess. I hope it goes well.” I said. “haha. Okey, so tomorrow then?” Sam said. “hmmm. Maybe? Haha! I’ll just ell him if I can get a chance to be with him ALONE.” I replied smiling. “hey! That’s unfair. We couldn’t listen.” Said by a familiar voice. “Hena?! Is that you?” I asked. “haha. Yep. Hi jess!” Hena said. “Hey guys where are you? It’s already dark.” I replied. “haha. Hi jess! It’s me Mika. Where in Nina’s crib. Having foodtrip.hehe” said by Mika. “Hey! That’s unfair! Why am I not invited?” I protested. “Hey! You went home early!” Nina said. “Okay. Okay. But guys be sure to go home safe okay?” I said. “okay jess!” they all said. “okay. I’ll hang up now.” I replied. “okay. Jess. Nightiesh. Thanks for the call.” Sam commented. I wish everything went well. “Hey am I too early for school?” I asked myself. I guess I really am. “you’re early today.” Said by a familiar voice behind me. “oh! Hey RJ. Iit’s you.” “haha. Yeah it’s me.” RJ said. “So how are you? He added. “I’m okay. Hey RJ, I decided to tell him.” I said. “Really?! Wow! Haha. Then I’ll be supporting you.” RJ said enthusiastically.  I’m so glad to have friends that will support me in everything. They’re like heaven sent to me. Hehe . I’m really just a lucky girl to have my silly, hardheaded, pretty, awesome, cool friends. “Jess!” someone call me. “Hey guys!” It’s my friends. “You ready?” ask by Sam. “Yep.” I said smiling. Nothing really happen that day we just had a quiz on geom. Discuss balancing chemical equations in our chem and self study on the other subjects. “Atlast! Last subject is over.”protest by Grace. “Hey guys, I’ll go ahead okay? I need to go home early.” I said. “Okay Jess.” They said.

  As I walk home, I didn’t expect that Troy is behind me. “Going home?” Troy asked. “Oh! Gosh. You scared me Troy! Well, yeah. You?” I replied. “Same.” Is this the chance fate give me? I guess this is it. I’m going to tell him. I will. I can do this, I broke the silence. “Hmm. Troy. I have something to tell you.” I said. “What is it Jess?” He asked. “Hmm. I’ll tell you but listen carefully okay?” I said while smiling to him. “Okay.” Then I start to say what my heart wants me to say. “I always admire you Troy. My friends know about it also RJ. Honestly, I’m so happy and grateful that we become friends. I didn’t see that coming. But the more I know about you the more my feelings deepen for you. I know if you I tell youthis we might lost our closeness but I take all my courage to confess because I don’t want to regret it in the future. Haha. Gosh this is so embarrassing.” I said. Troy’s expression was little shock. There was a little silent. Then he spoke. “Sorry Jess but this stiff, they are just new to me. I mean I don’t know about this stuff, they are just new to me. I’m sorry Jess but not now.” He said. I expected this but why does it hurt this much? It’s painful. “You don’t need to say sorry Troy, I just confess my feelings but Can I do one thing?” I ask with a fake smile. “Sure what is it?” he asked. “This.” Then I pitch his cheeks. “Ouch. That’s hurts!” he protested. “hahaha. You got a cute expression there Troy.” I said forcing a laugh. “Hmm, so I’ll go ahead then. See you around!” I added. I run and bid goodbye. I can’t stand a minute with him, if I didn’t go I can cry infront of him and I don’t  want that to happen. I saw this coming but I didn’t expect that it an hurt this much. I feel like I’m dumped. Wait, im dumped. There! I can’t control myself I just cried.

  Night came and it still hurt. I cry all night thinking I wish tomorrow this pain ends. I didn’t notice I feel asleep. The next day, goosh my eyes are swollen. Good thing it’s Saturday no one can see me like this. I went downstairs, greet my mom a good morning, eat breakfast, take a bath, and went to my room.  Sighs. “Not now.” What happen yesterday, it still hurt. I just turn the music on to distract myself. UNI by Ed sheeran is now playing. He surely got that cute expression when I pitch his cheeks. Gossh, I can’t imagine I just confess to him. Well what done is done. “God made another one of me to love you better than I ever will.” That line in the song hit me. Maybe. Then I decided to go outside and get some fresh air. I went to the seashore alone since our house is near in the sea. It’s just a block away. Wow. The sea breeze is good. It can help you think better. Maybe  there’s a reason why this happen, surely God has his own plan. I know this happen for a reason. I should take this positively. I want to confess to him and I  did it.

I should be thankful. Maybe… Just maybe GOD MADE ANOTHER ONE OF ME TO LOVE HIM BETTER THAN I EVER WILL. Realizing those things draw a smile on my fac. I guess my story… this story haven’t have a happy ending but this doesn’t mean I can’t experience a happily ever after. It’s still a long way down the road. May story might end here but guys you witness how I confess my feelings to other. How I take my one big shot and I’m happy, I should be. So thanks for hearing my story! This day will end and so those this story. But guys remember, telling someone that you like him/her is not a crime. We only have on life and we don’t know when we will have this life so, when you got the chance to tell someone you love them, grab it no matter what the result is cause remember, there might be risk in doing something but there’s also regret in doing nothing. So, I bid goodbye with a smile. :)

                                                     With love,

                                                            Jessica ♥